When The Vicar Stayed For Tea

by Ye Olde Yawny Boxian

I remember years ago
When the vicar stayed for tea
It stands out very plain
In my memory you see.

It was a Sunday afternoon
We were about to sup
When he paid a visit
Mam said "Would you like a cup?"

He thanked her very kindly
Pulling out a chair
Us kids were goggle-eyed
To see him sitting there.

The best china was laid out
And when the sandwiches came in
I noticed that the crusts were gone
And the bread was wafer thin.

Standing up the vicar said
"Shall we all say grace?"
To this day I can't forget
The look on my brother's face

Mam had got her posh voice on
That she reserved for special folk
I knew I mustn't giggle
She wouldn't have seen the joke.

I kept my head well down
And didn't say a word
In those days - children were seen
Unless spoken to - not heard.

I don't know how it happened
The vicar's cup fell to the floor
From where I was standing
Could see the cup no more.

We stared at one another
Each with bated breath
For we know who broke the china
Faced a fate worse than death.

The vicar said "I'm sorry
Hope you will forgive"
Mam said "Don't you worry
The pot-man has to live"

Later the china was safely locked away
Our mam must have lost the key
For we never saw it out again
Whoever came to tea.